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ONE ASS, TWO ASS, BLUE ASS, BLACK ASS

John of Vancouver

March Review 2001

I am not by nature a conspiracy theorist, but I can’t help but think that the hotel staff in Victoria where I was staying on business was involved in an elaborate plot to give me a heart attack. How else do you explain the fact that the daily newspaper which comes to one’s room every morning was folded such that the first words to my barely opened eyes read thus - Canada must dramatically boost immigration levels to counter the social and economic impact of an aging population (Times Colonist, Wednesday, March 14, 2001).

 “The ONLY thing that can be done is to increase immigration,” says Stats Can demographer Moolamattom George. Well, that woke me up, you bet!

 With a name like Moolamattom I’m not surprised he thinks this is the only thing to be done. You wouldn’t think a Moolamattom would believe otherwise, would you? Still, to be sure, I decided to call Moolamattom George at his office in Ottawa. The accent on the voice mail left no doubt that I was dealing with a newly resurrected Gandhi.

 I am also not surprised that Moolamattom George would suggest that more immigration is the cure for Canada’s problem. I quibble with the idea that there is a problem. As far as I can figure from doing a little research, Canada is the only country amongst the western democracies which has chosen large scale immigration as a remedy to its self diagnosed population problem (at least as far as far as the government is concerned). It is the solution that causes me to do back flips. Perhaps flooding this country with ethnic minorities won’t necessarily lead to prosperity. India and China are examples of that, both of whom boast billion plus populations. I’m only perplexed by the fact that Mr. Moolamattom George didn’t suggest that we start by importing perhaps a half-million more Moolamattoms, starting with his immediate family and the surrounding village.

 I don’t for one second blame Mr. Moolamattom George. The worst of it is that he has been encouraged in this anti-Canadian ideology by retarded immigration ministers all the way back to Trudeau and up to fat Elinor Caplan. Moolamattom needn’t get his goat in a lather either because Elinor already said a few months ago that her department is considering increasing the number of immigrants into Canada, and you can bet all the pious Liberals are banging their heads on their prayer mats in unrestrained glee at the thought that Canada might yet be encouraged to hurry up her cultural demise. We have become a nation of effete ass-kissers, and will kiss it twice if it is a brown ass.

 Also distressing is the fact that Mr. Moolamattom’s obviously self-serving policy statement was done on behalf of Statistics Canada, a federal agency. Since when has Stats Canada been given a mandate to lobby for increased immigration?! As far as I am concerned they are nothing more than glorified bean counters whose expertise lies in confirming that central Canadians have more bumps on their heads than Nova Scotians.

It’s a damn fine way to spend taxpayer’s money. These people are un-elected and if they have any cockamamie ideas about how Canada should evolve they ought to write a letter to the editor, not make public declarations that scare the bejezuz out of honest white xenophobes like myself.

 Just in case anybody doesn’t quite understand me let me put it this way – Most of our politicians, almost all the bureaucrats, and too many brain dead Canadians actually believe in this multiculturalism ju- ju. They actually think that Canada is immune from the problems which plague the rest of the world when competing cultures are thrown into close proximity. Sikhs are waging a separatist war to quit mainly Hindu India. Arabs want to push the Jews into the ocean. Yugoslavia is caught in a never-ending Balkan conflict with Muslim Albania. Quebec wants to separate from Canada. The Muslim Nation wants to form a black homeland in the United States. Basques terrorize Spain, and even tiny Belgium is divided between the Flemish and French speaking quarters. Need I even mention sub-Saharan Africa?

 None of these nationalities is wrong. Sometimes, however, the search for a national identity has no immediate solution and will just as likely end in blood shed. Thus far Canada has had to deal only with minor racial disturbances, usually between Indian bands and the government (not to mention the FLQ). But what do Canadians think will happen if the government succeeds in populating Canada with equal proportions of all the above mentioned nationalities? Peace will break out? Clearly multiculturalists do not understand that blood is thicker than water and love of one’s culture is more important than groovy ideas held over from the sixties.

Peace man!

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