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PLASTIC NATIONALISM

Gerry Lincoln

June 1, 2000

In many quarters, nationalism has become a dirty though not a four-letter word. We're all supposed to be part of a so-called global village, embracing one another with outstretched arms, welcoming all and sundry to what used to be our own little piece of turf.

Personally, I don't welcome anybody anymore the habitable part of this continent is full. And if people on other land masses insist on screwing like rabbits, well, put a fence around them and let them deal with the consequences.

But I digress.

Nationalism, though suppressed, seems to demand some sort of outlet. And it took, of all things, a beer company to step in and fill the void created by the one-worlders.

Somewhere, some ad agency found a moronic-sounding idiot to tout the joys of being a Canadian. This so-called "actor' sounds like a mental patient, badly in need of a shot of Thorazine or Zoloft.

He feels a compulsion to shout to the world that he has a prime minister and not a president. He takes pride in announcing that he pronounces the last letter of the alphabet "zed" rather than "zee." So then, why not "eh," "bed," "ced," "ded," "ed" . . . ?

Who gives a crap what this imbecile thinks?

Is the average Canadian so insecure that he has to make all that noise to convince himself that he is as good as, or better than, his neighbor to the south?

Apparently so. According to an April 28th article in the Washington Post, entitled "I'M ME AND DAMN PROUD OF IT; CANADIAN BEER AD AROUSES NATIONALIST SENTIMENT IN THE POLITEST OF PEOPLES," when this dolt made an appearance at a hockey game in Ottawa, fans actually embraced and cheered his shrill ranting.

I find that unfathomable. Watching this character, I want to see him institutionalized and sodomized by deranged inmates. Maybe they could "F" some sense into him!

As if prompted by propagandists at Canada's Ministry of Love, this play-for-pay cretin gyrates about the stage professing his preference for "diversity" over assimilation.

I guess that's what really irks me. If he wants to prattle on about the glorious beaver, a rodent only one step up on the food chain from a sewer rat, that's one thing. But when this idiot starts espousing the virtues of multiculturalism, it grates on my nerves worse than fingernails scraping across a blackboard.

Screw diversity! I for one, much prefer the idea of some kind of melting pot to this country's socialist-inspired "diversity" crap. If you want to live here, adapt to our ways. You know, when in Rome . . .

You didn't come here because it was so great over there.

The streets of our major cities sound like the goddamn Tower of Babel not to mention the foul stench. Fulton's Fish Market in Brooklyn has nothing on upper Parliament Street in Toronto.

It's bad enough that "our" government shoves this multicult garbage downs our throats on their state-sponsored, taxpayer-funded propaganda channel, the much-despised and largely unwatched CBC we don't need to be force-fed this drivel on real channels via dopey beer commercials.

F-them and their monkey piss beer! I never liked that swill anyway, but I sure as hell wouldn't think of touching it now.

If national pride hinges on a cruddy beer commercial, maybe we're better off becoming part of the United States of North America.

Think of the advantages. Mileage could properly be measured in miles once again. Our money would actually be worth something on the world market. We could elect our senators and judges. Of course we'll be stuck with Janet Reno and her BATF goons, but you gotta take the bad with the good. We could choose a new leader every four years instead of suffering through five or more years of misrule at a time. Although I've never been much of a Clinton fan, I think I'd rather have someone at the helm who receives oral favors than a recycled old has-been who sounds like he's on the giving end.

Once upon a time there were good reasons to exhibit pride in being Canadian. But so much of what made this country great has been discarded in deference to the rest of the world's "exports." With the exception of hockey which I find boring and that crappy beer, there are few traditions left to embrace.

And, try as I might, I find it impossible to get excited and wrap myself in a flag that looks like a beer label over some glassy-eyed nutbar selling nationalism in a bottle.

Gerry Lincoln is a freelance journalist and the former Editor of UpFront Magazine, the popular magazine and official voice of the Heritage Front, the largest and most successful Racialist group in Canadian history. You can contact Gerry Lincoln by sending E-Mail to: keepin_it_real@radio.fm

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