first step is always the clumsiest. Kids
learning to walk invariably trip over
their own dopey feet before they ever
get it together and manage to remain
upright. They head in one direction and
often end up somewhere else.
So it is with this column. I've been
putting it off for a long time but it's
time to finally take that first step.
And who knows where it will lead? But
like Newton's Law of Motion or Inertia
or whatever it is states, unless we get
moving we'll never get anywhere, will
When I agreed to undertake this task
it was with one strict condition on my
part -- I would not be bound to adhere
to anyone else's party line or politics,
or restricted to some "program
director's" topics for discussion.
(As I gaze at my monitor, my screen
saver kicked in, with a Marilyn Manson
quote I kinda like: "If you meet
your master today, kill him!")
So exactly what will you be writing
about, Gerry Lincoln?
Essentially, anything that's on my
mind at the moment.
It would probably be simpler to list
topics that I won't discuss -- and I
can't think of any that are out of
bounds. On a slow day, I may even take
suggestions from readers -- assuming I
Don't expect a radical rant of
right-wing rhetoric, or left-wing
lunacy. I've always hated labels and
other peoples' attempts to pigeonhole me
into some narrow political compartment.
Crazy conservatives will be fair game,
as will goofy liberals. Creeps come in
all shapes and sizes and stripes. There
will be no sacred cows.
But we won't be restricted to dull
political stuff. While it might be
informative, for example, to explore our
mayor's business dealings before he was
elected, or to compare him to a REAL
mayor like they have in New York City,
it might be just as entertaining to
explore his wife's drinking problem.
On any given day, we might cover
exciting new scientific advances, social
issues, assorted news items,
entertainment -- you name it! There's
always a wealth of material out there.
If I have any goal in mind at this
point, it is simply to make this thing
fun. I see this column first and
foremost as light entertainment, and if,
along the way we actually end up being
anything more, well, that's a bonus.
Although you may not agree with
everything -- or anything -- that I
might say, we think you'll keep coming
back, because, to paraphrase the guy in
Howard Stern's "Private Parts"
movie: "You'll want to hear what he