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A JOG AROUND ABSURDISTAN

Doug Collins

July 13, 2001

 Is our New World funny or is it foolish? It is both. Consider, for
instance, that the grinning former prime minister Joe Clark headed a gay pride march in Calgary to the cheers of the media multitudes; and that in Saskatchewan a newspaper could be fined by our demoniac human rights system for quoting the Bible. Where is God when we need him? Consider, too, that Time magazine named Albert Einstein The Man of The Century when, obviously, it should have been Adolf Hitler.

Has that got your interest? I thought so. But there is method in my
madness. Albert made the news far less than Adolf, and Adolf is still
making it. There is such a media fascination with him that one might
think he was still alive, just like Elvis Presley.

It was an advertisement in The Sunday Telegram titled The Third Reich in Colour that started me on these musings.

Some of it read like a boost for the Nüremberg Rallies. There was a
nice picture of the Führer, and readers were told that for a modest sum (£19.99) they could get over three hours of "unique colour footage, much of it never seen before, including private film taken by Hitler’s own pilot, plus home movies shot be Hitler’s mistress, Eva Braun, the
Goebbels family, and combat film hidden for almost sixty years". Gosh!

Not to mention Gripping sequences of the Luftwaffe and German Navy in
action and chilling film evidence (naturally) of the persecution of the
Jews by the Nazis.

In the same issue there was half a page headed, "German police took
part in war crimes, historians claim," while in another there was a long
review of yet another Auschwitz memoir: "Love and loss out of
Auschwitz."

No doubt about it, World War Two is the longest-running movie ever.

I used to call our local Jewish newspaper The Holocaust and War News Times. But now the all the media are into the act. It’s what Norman Mailer called the feeding of the goat.

Not to be omitted from this album of the absurd is that people (if men
are still people) can be fined and jailed for alleged sex offences that
took place thirty and even forty years ago, and that a minister in the
government of British Columbia — Robin Blencoe —could face financial
ruin and expulsion from the League of the Respectable for kissing girls
in in the office. The Puritans are in power, the Cavaliers having all
been sent to the plantations.
It gets better. I read in The Report magazine that a 14-year-old boy
in Alberta was suspended and ordered to undergo a mental health
assessment and and investigation by the RCMP. His offence? He had
written down the names of twelve teachers and students who were
upsetting him. In Nova Scotia another kid aged eight was suspended for a
day for having pointed a chicken strip at a classmate and saying "Bang!"

You have to get 'em young if political correctness is to succeed. And
boys are now out of fashion unless they show signs of being strange

Meanwhile, back at the Ottawa ranch, terrorists are welcome if they
face punishment for having been or still being terrorists. So are common
or garden murderers. But a Blencoe kissing a girl in the office against
her professed will is a more serious matter. Logically, the more kissers
we can kiss off the better. Provided they are girl-kissers, that is. Men
who kiss men are needed for gay pride days.

Not that these wonders of the New Age are confined to Canada. In
the Disunited Kingdom, Bomber Blair has let dozens of IRA killers out of
jail — including those who killed Lord Mountbatten — in return for
terrorist promises to hand in their guns. No guns have been handed in,
but the IRA chaps are out there laughing.

Every bit as funny is that Slobodan Milosevic has been handed over to
the war crimes court in The Hague. In return for a fee, of course. For
doing so, the new Serb government will receive $1.9 billion to repair
the damage done by Bomber Blair’s and Billy Clinton’s air forces during
Balkan dustup. Oh well, one good turn deserves another, and nobody’s
perfect. Just ask The Sunday Telegraph.

Also in the U.K,.a greengrocer has been prosecuted for selling a pound
of bananas, when he should have called it .453 of a kilo. As the judge
in the case stated, Britain surrendered to the primacy of European law
when it joined the European Union in 1972

Which prompts me to ask: why did Nelson, Wellington, Montgomery, and
others fight against taking orders from France and Germany? Especially
when Adolf and his works are now so popular.

Just askin’!

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